In his book, Jantsch says, “To build a business, territory, or practice based primarily on referrals, you must first discover or create the remarkable thing about you or your products, the thing that gets people talking—that almost forces them to tell others about you. Boring people, products, and companies are hard to refer to!”
“If the marketplace isn’t talking about you . . . there’s a reason. The reason is that you’re boring. And you’re probably boring on purpose. You have boring pricing because that’s safer. You have a boring location because to do otherwise would be nuts. You have boring products because that’s what the market wants.”
– Seth Godin, from The Referral Engine, by John Jantsch
That quote hits hard because it is true.
Many business owners want referrals, talk about referrals, and even claim referrals as their primary growth strategy. Yet very few step back and ask the uncomfortable question that actually matters:
Why would someone talk about you at all?
Why Referrals Don’t Happen Automatically
In The Referral Engine, John Jantsch makes this point clear:
“To build a business, territory, or practice based primarily on referrals, you must first discover or create the remarkable thing about you or your products, the thing that gets people talking.”
Referrals are not a tactic. They are a byproduct.
If your business blends in, plays it safe, and avoids standing out, referrals will always be inconsistent. People do not refer to “fine.” They do not refer to “acceptable.” And they certainly do not refer to “just like everyone else.”
Boring people, boring products, and boring companies are hard to refer to.
Everyone Wants Referrals Few Deserve Them
Every business owner wants more referrals. That is not the problem.
The real issue is this: most businesses have not given their customers a clear, emotional reason to refer them.
Ask yourself honestly:
- Why would a customer bring your name up in conversation?
- What story would they tell?
- What would make them say, “You need to call these people” instead of “They were fine”?
If your answer is “great service,” pause right there.
“Great Service” Is Not Remarkable Anymore
Almost every business claims to offer outstanding customer service. Yet very few can explain exactly what makes their service different in a way that a customer would repeat to someone else.
If your service difference is not noticeable, it is not remarkable.
If it is not remarkable, it is forgettable.
And if it is forgettable, it will not drive referrals.
A referral marketing strategy cannot work if the business itself gives people nothing interesting to talk about.
What Does It Actually Mean to Stand Out?
Standing out does not require gimmicks, extreme pricing, or being outrageous. It requires intentional differentiation.
Here are several questions worth exploring in depth.
Is Your Product, Process, or Outcome Truly Different?
Does your product or service do something in a way that is meaningfully different from your competitors?
- Do you solve a problem others ignore?
- Do you remove friction that customers have come to accept as “normal”?
- Do you deliver results in a way that feels easier, clearer, or more reassuring?
If the honest answer is “we are pretty similar,” then your business is relying on hope instead of strategy.
Do People Walk Away Talking About the Experience?
Think about how your prospects and customers feel after interacting with your business.
Do they walk away saying:
- “That was easy.”
- “I felt taken care of.”
- “I have never been treated that way before.”
Or do they move on to the next task in their day?
People talk about experiences that trigger emotion. Neutral experiences rarely get shared.
Are You Competing on Price or on Value?
Price shoppers are rarely referral sources.
If your customers constantly compare you to cheaper options, that is usually a signal that the value you provide is unclear or underwhelming.
When people genuinely feel they are receiving exceptional value, they stop hunting for alternatives. They feel confident recommending you because doing so reflects well on them.
The Missing Piece in Most Referral Marketing Strategies
If you want referrals to become predictable instead of accidental, you must intentionally create something worth referring.
That “something” might be:
- A unique onboarding process
- A memorable follow-up experience
- A clear niche or specialization
- A guarantee or promise that feels uncommon
- A culture that customers can immediately feel
Whatever it is, it must be noticeable. It must be specific. And it must be easy for customers to explain to someone else.
Referrals grow when people enjoy talking about you.
Turning “Boring” Into Remarkable on Purpose
As a business coach serving Sugar Land, Katy, and the greater Houston area, I see this challenge all the time. Many business owners are working hard, delivering solid results, and still struggling to grow through referrals.
The opportunity is not working harder.
The opportunity is to think differently.
Engage your team in the process. Ask uncomfortable questions. Make it a creative exercise instead of a defensive one. Challenge assumptions about how things “have always been done.”
When you intentionally raise the bar, you create something powerful: a culture of remarkability.
And when that happens, people will talk.
